Our 2016 Christmas card + family pics

Here it is, our 2016 Christmas card! One of my very favorite things about Christmas time is sending and receiving cards. It makes me soo happy checking the mail every day and seeing the smiling faces of so many people I love. 

A few weekends ago we had our friend and amazing photographer Chelsea Collins take some pictures of us and she did such a great job. We were out there for literally 15 minutes and with our maniac dog running all over the place, I was just praying for one salvageable picture to use for our Christmas card. I love so many of them and my bump is already so much bigger! 

Pregnancy after infertility

I have sat down and stared at a blank screen for months trying to put this post into words. Bear with me, this is a jumble of thoughts and feelings on experiencing pregnancy after infertility.

When we were only dating we were faced with the harsh reality that we would likely have trouble conceiving. This lead to endless research, surgery, reaching out to others to had been through IVF, prayer, long discussions about our future, and never-ending anxiety about getting pregnant. Through our dating years, engagement, and newlywed stage one thing was for certain, whatever trials were in our future, we would face them together.

Fast forward to 2015 when we were officially "ready". It came as no surprise when we saw negative test after negative test, month after month. Though we were "prepared" for this, that didn't make it any easier. We knew time is of the essence and we didn't want to delay the inevitable. We found the perfect infertility clinic for us and were officially told what we had known for 6 years… IVF was our only option. Game on, let's do this! You guys have seen the journey unfold here, from making our journey public to my egg retrieval and embryo transfer and finally to our answered prayer. What I haven't touched on much is how hard it was after we got our BFP (big fat positive).

After we found out we were pregnant, instead of feeling elated that we had finally overcome infertility, all I could think about were the "what ifs". What if I have a miscarriage, what if this baby has health problems, what if… you name it. I was not prepared for these feelings, as I thought I would be carefree and on top of the world. To make matters worse, around week 7 I started bleeding and I was 100% positive I was miscarrying. I left work immediately went straight to my doctor who confirmed that baby's heart was beating away (praise God!) but that I had a subchorionic hemorrhage. I was put on modified bed rest and monitored weekly until my body reabsorbed it. This only made my anxiety worse, knowing that this hematoma put me at increased risk for miscarriage.

Even as we transitioned out of the first trimester, my hematoma resolved, and baby was doing perfectly, it wasn't until around week 15 or 16 that I really started to enjoy my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, my love for that tiny baby was something fierce, but I didn't really like talking about my pregnancy with other people. I felt like I was going to "jinx" something if I talked about it. I didn't have the "run to the bathroom and pee on a stick and surprise husband with the news" experience that you see in the movies. Our road to get to this place was hard so unfortunately I was overly aware of all the bad things that could happen. I think this is pretty common after battling infertility. After going through IVF, you are far too used to hearing what went wrong, what your odds are, "I'm sorry", etc. You feel like one big science experiment.

So, I have put together a list of 3 things that all women should do in early pregnancy after beating infertility:

1. Give yourself grace. You've been through hell and back. It's not easy to flip a switch and go from worried and anxious to happy and carefree the second you see that BFP. Those negative feelings will fade with time as you start to realizing that your miracle baby isn't going anywhere! Trust that God brought you this far for a reason and that "He is knitting your baby together in your womb" (Psalm 139:13).

2. Have a support system. My husband and mom have been my absolute rocks through this entire process. I never went to a single doctor's appointment alone, and my clinic was 2 hours away. My husband knew when I was feeling sad and let me feel these things, then he was there to pick me up when I was ready. His tears of happiness at every ultrasound showed me that we were in this together. He would pray over our baby and constantly tried to reassure me that everything would be ok. It's impossible to go through this alone. Find your solid support system and don't be afraid to ask for help.

3. Celebrate the milestones. Celebrate your BFP, celebrate hearing the heartbeat for the first time, celebrate graduating from the first trimester. It's ok to let yourself be happy! You won't jinx it!

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If you made it to the end of this post, kudos to you! At 21 weeks now, I am incredibly thankful and happy for every single day with this baby. I absolutely love being pregnant and would do it all over again in a heartbeat for this baby. If you or someone you know has any questions about IVF or infertility, don't hesitate to email me at davisduoblog@gmail.com. At the end of the day, I am so very thankful for our journey and I am certain that our struggle made me 100x more thankful for every minute of this pregnancy!

Embryo transfer day and the end of our IVF journey

[In case you missed it, you can read all about our May 5th, 2016 egg retrieval here.]

After egg retrieval I felt like death for about 7 days. They got 44 eggs which is A LOT. After going back and forth on whether or not to do a fresh transfer (5 days after egg retrieval) or freezing all embryos, waiting 6 weeks for my body to recover, and doing a frozen embryo transfer, I decided to wait. I was so sick of shots, I had OHSS, and I just didn't feel like my body was a healthy environment to be putting one of our embryos back into. It was a tough decision at the time because that meant 6 more weeks of waiting, starting oral estrogen 3x a day, weekly doctor's appointments to monitor, and starting progesterone shots again. In the end I am super thankful we decided to wait. I honestly don't know if we would have had these results had I done a fresh transfer.

Starting 2 weeks after egg retrieval I began going back to the doctor weekly for ultrasounds and blood draws to make sure my body was ready for transfer. I began taking estrogen 3x a day and a progesterone shot at night. [By the way, PIO intramuscular shots are the WORST! Thick, progesterone in oil that leaves a lump under your skin. I had to take both the estrogen and progesterone shots until 10.5 weeks pregnant. My butt was covered in bruises ouch!] At our appointment on June 17th we officially got the green light that we were ready to transfer an embryo on June 24th!

June 24th, 2016

We woke up bright and early feeling like kids on Christmas morning (but even more excited!). We made the all too familiar 2 hour drive to our fertility clinic and then stopped for breakfast. I had to drink 24oz of water before transfer so that I had a full bladder during the procedure. That was TOUGH! I hate the feeling of having to pee! I got all changed into my gown, booties and hat then we were taken back into the procedure room. We watched as our perfect little embryo was transferred from a petri dish and into my uterus. Ultrasound showed us the whole thing on a big screen on the wall. It was amazing! I will never forget my doctor telling me, "Everything went perfect. You should be cautiously optimistic!"

Despite my doctor reassuring me that the embryo was not going to "fall out", I decided to lay there for a little while, still terrified of losing this very expensive embryo. I was officially "PUPO"-- pregnant until proven otherwise! We made the 2 hour drive home and the rest of the day was spent relaxing on the couch (doctor's orders!), eating a whole pineapple (core included... supposed to help with implantation), and doing everything possible to make that baby STICK!

Our first family picture

I was told to wake up the next day and go about my normal routine. We spent the day running errands, hanging out, and had a date night that night... my first night ordering a "mocktail" instead of wine which was pretty exciting! My blood draw to confirm whether or not I was pregnant was scheduled for 9 days post-transfer. I already knew I would test at home before then because let's be honest, patience isn't my best quality. My husband tried to convince me to wait until the blood test... sorry babe.

June 29th, 2016

5 days post-transfer. I knew multiple people who tested at home on 6 days post-transfer and got a faint positive. I woke up on day 5 and just couldn't wait another day. With hubs already at work, I ran into the bathroom and was fairly certain I was going to die of a heart attack right then and there. My heart was pounding out of my chest. Never in my life have I been so nervous/anxious/worried/excited. I peed on that expensive stick and walked away. When I came back into the bathroom my world was forever changed. The first time I'd ever seen two pink lines. Holy shit. Now what? Pee on a digital one obviously. Yes +.

I flew to my husband's work and texted him to come outside. I said I "forgot to give him something"... worst excuse ever. When he got to my car I shoved a gift bag at him full of daddy-to-be books and positive pregnancy tests. He lost it, bless his heart. I knew he would! I was still in shock and unable to cry. He did enough crying for both of us :)

Every day until our blood draw I peed on a stick like a crazy woman to make sure the lines were getting darker. And they were! On 9dp5dt (9 days post 5-day transfer) we headed to the hospital at the beach for my confirmatory blood draw. We were at the beach for 4th of July weekend so my doctor's office allowed me to have it done there and have the results sent to them. I will never forget the phone call I got a few hours later from my amazing doctor. "Hi Owen how are you? I'm amazing because YOU ARE PREGNANT! We want your HCG level to be above 50 and we are thrilled if it's above 100. Yours is 270! Congratulations momma!"

Talk about the best phone call of my life. We had to return back to the hospital 2 days later for one last blood draw. They like to make sure your HCG is doubling every 48 hours and it was! Grow baby, grow! What a whirlwind 2 weeks. We were still living on cloud 9 and in disbelief that it actually worked, that our miracle baby was finally in my belly. So many answered prayers, sleepless nights, shots, thousands of dollars all worth it.

We are so very lucky and blessed that we had success after our first round. We definitely had a long road to get to where we are now, but we are also well aware that some people go through multiple rounds of IVF without success. We will never take any aspect of this pregnancy for granted! And for those of you trying for your own miracle, do not give up! If you have any questions about IVF don't hesitate to email me at davisduoblog@gmail.com

We have some news...

Davis Duo will soon be upgraded to Davis Trio... we are expecting a precious baby in March! I am bursting at the seams with excitement and love for this baby that we have been praying for for so long. We are so thankful that God has blessed us with this miracle!

I can't wait to fill you guys in on all the details. Check back later this week for a pregnancy update, hear all about our embryo transfer, and my thoughts on pregnancy after infertility!