National Infertility Awareness Week

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

If you are getting sick and tired of hearing me ramble on about infertility and IVF, then now is the time to unfollow me. It won't hurt my feelings! I know it's probably boring 99% of my readers to death but hey!, this is where I am in my life right now and I want to document it so that I can look back when I am [hopefully] on the other side of infertility.

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Did you know that this week is National Infertility Awareness Week? Probably not, unless you are battling infertility yourself. How ironic that we are in the middle of IVF during this week. 1 in 8 women are currently suffering from infertility or mourning a miscarriage. I guarantee you that multiple women you know are struggling with this and you have no idea. One of the hardest parts about this whole thing for me has been the elephant in the room when I'm around people that know what I'm going through. There has been an overwhelming amount of support from most people and an underwhelming amount from others. When it comes down to it, people just don't know what to say or do. It's awkward and uncomfortable. So in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, here is my list of 5 Ways To Support Your Friend Struggling With Infertility:

1. Ask how she is doing.
Check in every few days with a quick text and ask how she's doing. That simple question isn't asked nearly enough. It's all about "how are the shots?", "how many doctors appointments do you have this week?", "when is your egg retrieval?". I very rarely get asked how I'm feeling physically and emotionally. It means so much when someone asks me this... It makes me feel like they truly care about ME and aren't just intrigued about the whole IVF process. This process is incredibly taxing, both physically and emotionally. It's lonely and most of the time I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. By asking how she's doing, you're letting her know that it's ok for her to open up and vent to you.

2. Take action.
If you are anything like me, hell will freeze over before you will ask for help. Never in a million years would I text even one of my best friends and ask them to bring me dinner or run an errand for me. Rather than saying "please let me know if there's anything I can do for you", say "I am bringing you dinner, is Wednesday or Thursday night better for you?" She will be forever grateful and won't feel guilty about having to ask for help.

3. Keep up with her appointment dates and ask how they went.
Yes I know, IVF requires a million appointments [tell me about it!] but when she texts you and says her baseline ultrasound is next Monday or her egg retrieval is next Friday, write those dates down in your planner so you can remember to ask how they went. It shows that you truly care and are walking this road with her.

4. Get her out of the house.
Sometimes we all just need a good, old fashioned girls night. Plan a small get together like dinner or a mani/pedi date and ask her when the best day is. Getting out of the house to spend time with my best friends is the greatest therapy. It gets my mind off things and reminds me that I have an incredible support group rooting me on.

5. Pray for her.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to her about it or asking how she is, at least pray for her. Pray for her health, her future baby, her marriage, her nerves, her doctors, her peace of mind. This is by far the greatest thing you can do for her. I truly believe in my prayer warriors and no prayer is too small for our God. I believe in His plan for us but having a few extra prayers sent up doesn't ever hurt!



If you have any questions about infertility or the IVF process, feel free to shoot me an email. I'm so very passionate about this and want to break the stigma that surrounds infertility.

29 comments :

  1. Thanks for sharing this.. I feel like people never know what to say. At least I don't want to hurt feelings or make someone sadder. This was great! Xo

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  2. I agree with all of these! I've had friends put my dates of things in their calendars and it means the world to me. Having that support has been a true blessing.
    We'll get through this together, girl! And there will be happy babies in the end for us!

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  3. I have to say asking how someone is doing through this is something I didn't consider because I didn't want to prod, but posing it in way that is asking about YOU rather than the process or something else, I will totally start doing!! thank you for sharing this!

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  4. Thanks so much for sharing! One of my best friends has been going through this and this list was so helpful to remind me
    Of things I need to do.

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  5. Thank you so much for sharing girl! Asking how she's doing and not how the treatment is going makes all the difference! An yes to getting out of the house! Sometimes you just need a little girl time to relax. Sending you all the thoughts and prayers girl! <3, Pamela Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  6. Thank you for sharing this! It was really helpful! And I'm with you: it's so hard for me to ask for help, so I love the one about just saying you're coming over to do something.

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  7. I think about you often, lady, and hope and pray this IVF goes quickly and successfully for you! It is helpful to hear what is best to say, because you are right, we often struggle with knowing what the 'right thing' is to help those we know and love who are struggling!

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  8. what a great and helpful list. i mean i've usually been one to state "if there's anything you need don't hesitate to reach out" but actually stating what you'll do to help and taking the initiative - that's good feedback! i wish i were closer to you so i could just come over and bring you cookies and watch a fun girly movie or something :) sending all the love!

    xoxo cheshire kat

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  9. Great post!! There really are so many people going through this and you'd never know! Thanks for being so open about it - I am learning so much through you! Wish you were closer so I could help out and bring some food over! :) How much longer do you have to do shots for? When is your retrieval?

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  10. Thanks for sharing! I do know a few people going through this and I'm often struggling to know what I can do to help other than just asking her how she's doing. Bringing dinner and planning a girls day/night are totally things I can do! -xx Leah || Chasing Texas

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  11. Thank you for this. I never know what to do or say. This helps a lot.

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  12. I love this so much! I have been wanting to share my infertility journey on my blog...but didn't want to flood people with it. So I decided to go for an infertility blog instead. But it's so small and I rarely have time to update it. I think I might fuse the two together. And limit my infertility posts to just a few a month. Coming over from Jessi's link up! Will definitely keep up with you and your journey...hope you can stop by my little space as well. Hugs and prayers your way.
    Oh, you shared some wonderful tips too. I unfortunately don't have any friends who truly understand this...so it's just me and my husband supporting each other. I don't think any one of my friends has ever asked how things are going or checked in just to check in...it's truly sad!
    xo, Lily
    Beauty With Lily

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  13. Glad you are bringing awareness and sharing your story. I love your list.

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  14. these points are so good! and i hiiiighly doubt that you could possibly be boring anybody. i love that you've chosen to share through your journey and experience!

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  16. I think it's great that you're sharing your story. You are educating so many people (like me!) and inspiring others. Continuing to keep y'all in my prayers!

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  17. Great suggestions!! I know that I'm always really careful about talking about others who are pregnant with my friends who are struggling with fertility issues - I'd love to know your thoughts on that.

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  18. You are absolutely right and these are such great reminders for all of us! Praying for you! Xo, Stephanie

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  22. I just randomly found your blog from an old disney trip you posted about, but coincidentally I will most likely be starting IVF in the next few months. The whole thing is overwhelming, but I thank you for sharing your story, it really brings hope and comfort and I wish you and your family all the best!

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