I am thrilled to have Jessica from The Newly guest posting today for part 3 of the marriage series! I fell in love with her blog a long time ago and just LOVE watching her family grow! Have you ever seen a more gorgeous pregnant lady? I mean, absolutely flawless! And her sweet son, I die. [he is going to be a heartbreaker one day] I loved reading her words of wisdom about marriage and I know you will too!
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Hi there, Davis Duo readers! My name is Jessica, and I blog about everything from marriage to motherhood over on my little slice of the internet at The Newly.
If I had learned this one a little earlier on, I think the first year of our marriage would have gone even more smoothly than it did. Looking back on it now, I can honestly say that most of our battles then (and even now) are a result of one of us being hard-headed, and refusing to concede a point. Or compromise. In marriage, compromising is key. Be willing to sacrifice at times for the good of your spouse, and in return, he or she will more than likely return the favor.
Always Speak Good
I've seen far too many couples go down the path of speaking ill of their spouse in front of others. This is never a good idea. It's one thing to express your frustration to friends, get advice, vent, etc. But it's never wise to tear down your spouse or belittle him or her in front of others. Try to always speak well of your partner. This will fortify your relationship and show others how dedicated you are to one another.
Pick Your Battles
Just like compromising, this is one that I wish I would have learned a bit sooner. And I am still learning when it comes to this one. I tend to be very particular about little nit-picky things. Like the way towels are folded. The way food is put away in the pantry. The way the bed is made. That's just me. My husband is not like that, and when he attempts to help me by completing these tasks, I have learned that it is NOT helpful for me to rag on the way he does them. He feels like I am nagging, thinks I am never satisfied, and feels like his work isn't good enough. Which is not my goal at all. These kinds of battles are not worth a fight. So, swallow your pride over the little things - refold those towels when he's not looking, straighten the pantry when you can, and remake the bed if you need to - but save the disagreements for something of importance. Which leads me to...
Speak Up
If you're really upset about something, talk about it. Don't keep it in. Communication is key to a healthy relationship. When it breaks down, so does the marriage. So, if something is really bothering you, tell your husband/wife. It doesn't do either of you any good to keep feelings and emotions bottled up.
Be Your Spouse's Number One Fan
There's one person you should always support. Your spouse. He or she should always know that they have someone in their corner. Someone to rely on. Someone to do life with. Sometimes, it may feel like it's just you two against the world. Life can be hard. We all have our challenges. But, it's pretty sweet to know that you always have someone at home cheering you on, right?
There are lots of other little lessons I'm sure I could share about marriage. And definitely about motherhood:) But I'll stop here before this turns into a book. If you're interested in seeing a bit more about the things I like to chat about every day, be sure to pop over and visit me on my blog. And Owen, thank you so much for having me! I'm so honored to be part of your marriage series!
Yes to all of the above. I'd definitely say our first year of marriage was the hardest. It was the one where at times I wanted out. But in looking back on those years, I see those outs I wanted were because of the mistakes I was making. Not communicating, not compromising, and not picking my battles! It's hard to swallow pride sometimes but when we learn to think less of ourselves and more of our spouse, things are so much better!
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me guest post today, Owen! So much fun being part of your series!:) Can't wait to read what the other guest posters had to share!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes to all of these!!!!!!! I'm still learning how to speak up the right way.... but I couldn't agree with compromising and picking your battles - which definitely go hand in hand... and I definitely notice how my husband honors me by being my number one fan, and I like to think I do the same. Fantastic advice! :)
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