FoF: officially a grown up

[O N E]

Y'all, I seriously giggle every time I walk by a mirror and see myself in a long white coat. Don't get me wrong, I worked my ass off for that coat but I do not feel important/smart/old enough to be wearing it. #grownuplife

[T W O]

Speaking of grown up life, I finally got my diploma and medical license in the mail! I guess that means it's officially real?! Going to get these bad boys framed this weekend so I can hang them in my brand new office at work!

[T H R E E]

The Bachelor is totally my guilty pleasure. It's sad how much I look forward to it while at work every Monday. In my opinion this season has been one of the best in a whiiiile. Ben seems like a genuinely good guy with morals and the remaining girls are all great. The very first episode I became team Lauren B and she is one of the last 3 left. I really think she is going to one! How gorgeous is she?! I'm obsessed with them as a couple!

[F O U R]

We got a new Keurig last week so that I could take our old one to work to have in my office. We got the new 2.0 Keurig and I like it a lot! I really want a super nice expresso maker but right now it just isn't practical for us. It looks sleek and comes with a coffee pot so that you can brew an entire pot versus just a cup if you want!

[F I V E]

My in-laws gave us a gift card to our favorite sushi restaurant for Valentine's Day so we had a mid-week date this week! This was a treat because we never go out to eat during the week. Yummy!

Linking up with Amanda, April, and Karli!

Confessions

Today I'm linking up with my girls Jess @ The Newly, Joey @ Hodges Podges and Annie @ Home of Malones to "air my dirty laundry" and 'fess up to some of my less than glamorous moments lately…

I confess…

|| I wear my hair in a sock bun when it's dirty and I'm too lazy to wash it

|| My husband does said sock bun every time I wear one… yep

|| I can count on 2 hands the number of dinners I have cooked in our 2 years of marriage. My husband cooks every.single.night. and I'm not complaining

|| My biggest fear about having a baby… not getting 9 hours of sleep every night. I'm terrified of that. I think about it almost every day.

|| At least once a week I forget to switch the wet laundry over to the dryer. It ends up smelling sour and nasty and I have to run the washing machine again. The worst!

|| Sometimes I skip out on going to the gym because I don't feel like having to wash, dry, straighten my hair after

|| One of my Facebook friends posted a minute long video of her newborn baby crying with the caption: "I'm not posting this for advice, I just want everyone to see what my life is like these days". Hold on while I resist the urge to punch you through my computer screen. I'd kill to have a crying newborn baby in my home.

So, that is my life in a nutshell these days. What are you confessing to this week?!

Five things

This weekend was filled with 2 date nights (!!!), 3 trips to the gym, 2 long walks in the beautiful 65 degree weather, and lots of errands and small projects around the house. Instead of boring you with every tiny detail of our semi-boring weekend, I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon with this "5 Things" survey going around! 

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Five foods I eat every day…
1// Eggs, usually scrambled egg whites to be exact
2// Yogurt, usually with granola
3// Chicken, because my husband is a health freak [I could 100% live without chicken]
4// Coffee [not exactly a food but it is essential to life]
5// Protein bars

Five places I'm dying to visit…

1// Greece
2// Paris
3// Bora Bora
4// Jackson Hole
5// Alaska

Five talents I wish I had… 
1// Photography
2// Singing
3// Spanish [is that a talent?]
4// Long distance running
5// Cooking

Five celebrities I want to be friends with… 
1// Taylor Swift
2// Adele
3// Joanna Gaines from Fixer Upper
4// Carrie Underwood
5// Ellen DeGeneres

Five Six Instagram accounts I love… 

1// @littlemissfearlessblog
2// @oliveandtate_
3// @atgreenwell
4// @alizadventures
5// @lisampray
6// @carolina_charm

Five songs I could listen to on repeat… 
1// "Make You Feel My Love" by Adele
2// "Carolina" by Eric Church
3// "You Are The Best Thing" by Ray LaMontagne
4// "Oceans" by Hillsong United
5// "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran

Five beauty products I use every day… 
1// Oil of Olay face lotion, after washing my face in the morning and before bed
2// Bobbi Brown face powder
3// Aquaphor on my lips multiple times a day. My dermatologist said it's the best for keeping lips hydrated, moist, and chapped-free
4// Maybelline mascara, the best mascara I've found. Much better than all the high-end expensive ones!
5// Under eye concealer for those awful dark bags

Five TV shows I'm emotionally invested in… 

1// The Bachelor
2// Grey's Anatomy
3// Making a Murderer
4// Dateline [I get emotionally invested in every single one… sad but true]
4// Can't think of any more because I really don't watch much tv

Five on Friday: random things!

[O N E]

I have officially been working for 3 weeks now! People warned me about entering the "real world" but if you ask me, getting paid AND not having to study 24/7 makes work pretty darn awesome. Compared to hell PA school, work is like a vacation... with a pretty nice paycheck! My co-workers are all amazing and have welcomed me with open arms. We've seen so many crazy fractures… arms, hips, feet, hands, you name it!

[T W O]

Do you guys remember my post about my precious neighbor who was battling leukemia? Well she entered the gates of Heaven in December and is now eternally healed. Her mom just recently started an online business called Anchor Beads selling beautiful necklaces and is donating a portion of the profits to childhood cancer research. Head over to her website to read her story and check out her gorgeous beads! P.s. they look like Twine & Twig but WAY more affordable AND you are helping beat childhood cancer, double win! She is struggling to keep up with the demand because they have been so popular but she is adding new necklaces daily so keep checking back!

[T H R E E]

I was watching the news last night and they had a segment on Chrissy Teigen and John Legend announcing that they did IVF to get pregnant. I teared up (of course) because it really makes me so happy when women open up about this issue, especially women that are in the spotlight. It brings much needed awareness to this topic and it gives me so much HOPE and encouragement!

[F O U R]

I don't post about make-up products often because to be honest, I'm not really into make-up. I'm a tried and true Bobbi Brown fan and I stick to the basics. However, I found the.absolute.best. under eye concealer and I had to share! I NEVER used to have dark circles under my eyes but the past few months I've been looking like a zombie when I wake up. I went to Ulta and everyone there recommended this and I have been so happy with it. Pretty pricey at $24 a tube but you only use a tiny bit every morning so it will last for a while.

[F I V E]

Did you guys see what doggy won the Westminster show this week?! A German-shorthaired pointed! Husband and I squealed with pride when we saw that. The only competition our GSP will be winning anytime soon is for biggest DIVA but we feel like winners nonetheless!

 Linking up with Amanda, Karli, and April

What Not To Say To Someone Struggling With Infertility

I'm sure you have all seen some variation of this post but since I'm in the thick of dealing with infertility, I just have to let you guys in on some of the ridiculous things that have been said to me lately. As humans we feel compelled to give advice when people are struggling, especially living in the South. And I know that people have good intentions when giving unsolicited advice, but most of the time I am left scratching my head and wondering where their common sense is. Moral of the story: think before you speak. Especially when giving advice if you haven't personally gone through it.

Without further ado: 10 Things NOT To Say To Someone Struggling With Infertility

1. "When you stop trying you will get pregnant"

Really? Thanks for the genius advice.

2. "You can have mine"

Just no. That does not make me feel better. Stop being ungrateful for your healthy, precious children. 

3. "Be thankful you get to sleep all night"

I would kill to be woken up every hour by a precious newborn baby.

4. "At least you didn't have a miscarriage"

Yes, I am thankful that I have not experienced that heartache and I pray to God that I never have to. With that being said, infertility and miscarriage are both incredibly heartbreaking journeys that are completely different and should never be compared. Infertility is mourning the loss of a baby you have never even had. Read this article... it says it all

5. "We dealt with infertility too... It took us 3 months to get pregnant"

Bless your heart.

6. "You are young, you still have plenty of time!"

So because I am "young" means that it isn't as hard as it would be if I were 5 years older? Yes I am thankful that we are tackling infertility while I am "young" but that doesn't fix the heartbreak.

7. "[insert really inappropriate advice on how to have sex here]"

Yep. I will let you imagine the advice we have been given. You just have to laugh at this point. Thank you, but I'm prettttty sure we know what we're doing.

8. "Just relax, go on a trip and it will happen!"

Just went to Antigua for a week, probably the most relaxing place I've ever been… still not preggo.

9. "I can't imagine dealing with infertility… I sneeze and get pregnant!"

You could have left out the second half of that comment. People seem to think that you will pity how easily they get pregnant #seriously #eyerollingemoji

10. "You can always adopt"

Yes I can, but I have dreamt of being pregnant since I was 5 years old. I want a child with my blue eyes and my husband's perfect nose. Maybe one day God will tell me to adopt, but that is not where our hearts are right now.

This post is not meant to point fingers. I am in a good place now so I can look back and chuckle at these things. Sometimes all you can do is laugh! TTC sisters, what am I leaving out?! Linking up with Jess and Annie

Cake pops!

Last weekend my husband and I got brave and attempted to make cake pops for dessert. For the first time making them, we were proud of ourselves for how great they turned out! They are pretty time consuming but if you have a free afternoon, these are the perfect little treat to take to a birthday party, dinner party, or even as a surprise for your co-workers. They present so cute and are convenient because you don't need plates or utensils. The verdict: we will definitely be making them again!

What you need:

-Box cake mix (we did one batch of strawberry cake and one batch of vanilla cake)

-3 eggs (for the cake)

-Vegetable oil (for the cake)

-Vanilla icing

-White chocolate bark for melting

-Parchment paper
-Sprinkles

-Sucker sticks (these were hard to find; we eventually found them at Michael's craft store)

Directions:

-Cook the cake according to directions on the box
-Let cool

-Break up the cake and mix in a bowl with about 3/4 the jar of icing; can use a mixer or just a heavy spoon

-Spoon out the mixture onto parchment paper into whatever size you prefer. The mixture will fall apart a little bit, don't be alarmed!

-Put in the freezer for 30 minutes; this will help them hold their shape

-Pack them into tight balls

-Melt the chocolate bark; we did it in the microwave and it worked perfectly. Hint: don't use chocolate chips. They are SUCH a pain to melt!
-Dip the end of a sucker stick into the chocolate then push into cake ball. This will help the stick stay "secure"

-Dip into the white chocolate and decorate
-Put in the fridge for about 10 minutes, just long enough to let the chocolate harden
-Enjoy!

Linking up with Jenn and Jessi

Weekending: Valentines!

First off, I just want to say thank you guys so much for your support about my post on Friday. I was so terrified to make such a personal issue public but I just prayed I would reach at least one person with my story. I was so taken aback when so many women messaged me saying they were struggling through the same thing. People that I knew well and had no idea they were hurting. That's the thing I've realized through all of this… for the most part, we all portray picture perfect lives on social media but everyone is fighting some kind of battle, and this is mine.

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Friday I drove home from work in the snow! It was SO pretty and I was really hoping it would stick around for the weekend. Unfortunately that didn't happen but it was pretty while it lasted! I met hubs at the gym then we went out for pizza and beer. That's totally the point of working out right? So you can eat what you want right after. We ended our night in bed with Dateline… our wild Friday night tradition.

Saturday morning I convinced hubs to take a spin class with me. I swear, I get the absolute best workout in those classes! The music makes the time pass by quickly and I'm forced to stay for the entire hour. After working out I met some girlfriends for brunch where, once again, I consumed all the calories I had just worked off. Hubs and I spent the afternoon running errands, getting a new Keurig (!!!), and grocery shopping. Saturday night we met some friends at the bowling alley. It was so much fun to have drinks, catch up, and get a little competitive.

I was so surprised to get a special delivery of the most beautiful flowers Saturday afternoon! My husband sure knows the way to my heart! My very favorite thing <3

Sunday morning we promised my niece heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast, and she wanted sprinkles on top, so of course we said yes. After pancakes we headed to church, the gym, and spent the rest of the day cooking. We had our parents over for dinner last night for Valentine's Day and cooked beef tenderloin, mashed potatoes, and brussel sprouts and it was amazing! We even made cake pops for dessert… recipe coming later this week!

How was your Valentine's weekend?! Happy Monday friends!

Addicted to Hope

It has taken me so long to hit "publish" on this post. It is terrifying to make this personal issue so public but if my story provides hope to one person, it will be worth it.

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Hope (n): a desire of some good, accompanied with an expectation of obtaining it or belief that it is obtainable

Today I'm getting personal and discussing a common yet rarely talked about horror: infertility. For the past 4+ years we have literally been addicted to hope. Hopeful that one day our house will be filled with babies and toys and bottles and diapers. Hope is what has kept us going. It all started when we were dating and we were told that we would have trouble getting pregnant. Being that we picked our future children's names the first year we were dating, this news was a huge punch in the gut. 

Fast forward four years to 2015 when we decided it was time for babies. What an exciting time! Once we made this decision, it was all-encompassing. It's all we thought about. Knowing that we would most likely not get pregnant easily, this became a time filled with anxiety for me. I am a Type-A control freak  by nature and this is literally the first thing in my life that I have had absolutely zero control over. After telling God my "ideal timeline" and hearing Him laugh at me, I decided it was time to fully release this situation into His hands. This is what I should have done a long time ago. Lesson learned, God.

After lots of doctor's appointments and disappointment and second opinions we were referred to one of the best fertility clinics in the state to begin the process of IVF. If you have been following along this blog for any time at all, you know that I am super passionate about women's health and infertility issues. Well surprise! That's because I knew we would most likely be in this position one day.

Bless my amazing husband for keeping me sane through this overwhelming time. I am naturally an anxious person and frequently let negative thoughts flood my mind. Just a few of my daily thoughts include: "What if IVF doesn't work?", "How the heck will we pay for this?", "How am I going to make it to all of these doctor's appointments 2 hours away after just beginning a new job?", "Am I really going to be able to give myself shots daily for weeks?", "What if this is God's way of telling us that He doesn't want us to have children?". My husband is quick to re-direct my focus and provide encouragement. We make such a great team and the thought of seeing him as a dad is what keeps me going.

One thing I have learned throughout this process is that infertility does not discriminate. It doesn't care about age, race, socioeconomic status, health, etc. Did I ever imagine that I'd be going through IVF in my 20's with no health problems? Absolutely not. However, do I believe that God has a reason for taking us down this path? Absolutely. I do not think infertility is from the Lord, for He says, "I will bless you richly. I will multiply your descendants…" in Genesis 22:17. However, I do believe that He uses trials such as infertility to teach us to trust in Him and His timing.

This struggle is going to make me so much more thankful for my future pregnancies and babies. I am going to embrace morning sickness, stretch marks, middle of the night feedings, and dirty diapers. Am I scared? Shitless. But am I hopeful? Immensely. All of our doctors and nurses are amazing and I truly believe we are in great hands.

So, why am I sharing our story? For 3 reasons:

1) If I can provide hope to just one person, it is worth it. I have read countless blogs over the past few years that have given me so much encouragement when trudging through these lonely waters known as infertility. So many strong, positive women telling their stories have helped me when I feel like no one else understands. I want to end the stigma behind infertility. Why are we ashamed to tell our stories?! We should be encouraging one another and lifting each other up in prayer. This is part of my story and I believe God wants me to use it spread His word. [Jenica] [Amanda] [Ashley] [Natalie] [Rebekah] [Lauren] [Eleni]

2) I want people to understand that just because a couple is young and healthy does not mean that they will get pregnant the second they decide they are ready. How many times have I been asked in the last year when we are going to have kids? I honestly cannot even count. Please, stop asking couples when they are going to have a baby. There is a good chance they are trying, and if they aren't, well it's none of your business anyway! In no way am I pointing fingers because I used to ask the same question until I realized firsthand that this seemingly innocent question can cause serious heartache. If someone feels like sharing this information with you, they will. But until then, don't ask.

3) To ask for prayers. I fully believe in the power of prayer. Though I feel somewhat selfish and silly asking for prayers when we are healthy and there are other people suffering from chronic illnesses and losing family members, I also believe that no prayer is too small for our God.

"You don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will." -John 13:7

"He has made everything beautiful in His time." -Ecclesiastes 3:11

Valentines day treats

Dear handsome husband,

I know we don't usually do gifts for Valentine's Day but I wouldn't be mad if you got me any of the things below. After all, you would love to save money on manicures right? New nail polish and a cuticle cutter would do the trick! And a Clarisonic… let's be honest, I've wanted one for forrrrever. Also, the Swell bottle you got me for Christmas is so amazing that I need another one. Because I'm too lazy to wash it every night. And candles and socks… you can never have too many.

Heart mug
amara.com

Capri Blue candles candleholder
$50 - very.co.uk

Happy Socks black socks
$12 - selfridges.com

Kendra Scott bracelet
nordstrom.com

Clarisonic face cleanser
macys.com

Bobbi Brown Cosmetics face moisturizer
sephora.com

Deborah Lippmann manicure tool
$65 - net-a-porter.com

Essie nail polish
beauty.com

S'well The Textile Bottle - Santorini Sunset - 0.5L
amara.com