What Not To Say To Someone Struggling With Infertility

I'm sure you have all seen some variation of this post but since I'm in the thick of dealing with infertility, I just have to let you guys in on some of the ridiculous things that have been said to me lately. As humans we feel compelled to give advice when people are struggling, especially living in the South. And I know that people have good intentions when giving unsolicited advice, but most of the time I am left scratching my head and wondering where their common sense is. Moral of the story: think before you speak. Especially when giving advice if you haven't personally gone through it.

Without further ado: 10 Things NOT To Say To Someone Struggling With Infertility

1. "When you stop trying you will get pregnant"

Really? Thanks for the genius advice.

2. "You can have mine"

Just no. That does not make me feel better. Stop being ungrateful for your healthy, precious children. 

3. "Be thankful you get to sleep all night"

I would kill to be woken up every hour by a precious newborn baby.

4. "At least you didn't have a miscarriage"

Yes, I am thankful that I have not experienced that heartache and I pray to God that I never have to. With that being said, infertility and miscarriage are both incredibly heartbreaking journeys that are completely different and should never be compared. Infertility is mourning the loss of a baby you have never even had. Read this article... it says it all

5. "We dealt with infertility too... It took us 3 months to get pregnant"

Bless your heart.

6. "You are young, you still have plenty of time!"

So because I am "young" means that it isn't as hard as it would be if I were 5 years older? Yes I am thankful that we are tackling infertility while I am "young" but that doesn't fix the heartbreak.

7. "[insert really inappropriate advice on how to have sex here]"

Yep. I will let you imagine the advice we have been given. You just have to laugh at this point. Thank you, but I'm prettttty sure we know what we're doing.

8. "Just relax, go on a trip and it will happen!"

Just went to Antigua for a week, probably the most relaxing place I've ever been… still not preggo.

9. "I can't imagine dealing with infertility… I sneeze and get pregnant!"

You could have left out the second half of that comment. People seem to think that you will pity how easily they get pregnant #seriously #eyerollingemoji

10. "You can always adopt"

Yes I can, but I have dreamt of being pregnant since I was 5 years old. I want a child with my blue eyes and my husband's perfect nose. Maybe one day God will tell me to adopt, but that is not where our hearts are right now.

This post is not meant to point fingers. I am in a good place now so I can look back and chuckle at these things. Sometimes all you can do is laugh! TTC sisters, what am I leaving out?! Linking up with Jess and Annie