This weekend was filled with heart attacks, diabetic ketoacidosis, lacerations, and strokes. I worked in the emergency room Saturday AND Sunday. Not ideal to spend the weekend working [for no pay] but I made the most of it. I'm not going to lie, it was draining. Emotionally and physically.
Yesterday an older lady came in because she fell and hit her face on a dresser, resulting in a broken nose. We popped that sucker back into place then joked about her getting a "free" nose job in the ER. She gave me marriage advice and I just adored her. Then we ordered a head CT to make sure she had no broken bones. We got the report back from the radiologist who stated that a mass was seen at the top of her lung, which just happened to be seen in the head CT. Unsure of why she would have a lung mass, we ordered an abdominal CT. The results were heartbreaking. She has pancreatic cancer with metastasis to her lungs.
I immediately teared up, which "I'm not supposed to do". The ER doctor told me "you can't think and act clearly when you get attached to your patients". Well I'm sorry sir, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We broke the news to her and her response: "I can't be sad! God has given me a long and happy life and for that I am thankful!".
In a matter of minutes, we had changed her life and given her 6 months to live. How are you supposed to forget something like that? You aren't. You are supposed to learn and grow from it. These patients are the ones you remember 10 years down the road. They make your job incredibly sad but also remind me of why I went into medicine... To be a provider that cares. I believe that God is placing me in medicine to touch people's lives. I may not be the smartest PA there ever was, but there will be no shortage of compassion and love shown to my patients.
My #ootd... Stylish, I know
My early morning commute isn't so bad when I can watch the sunrise
Missed my 2 loves this weekend. Hardly got to see them at all! Love them so much
Sorry for getting all serious on this bloggy today, but it's where my heart was! Happy Monday pretty ladies!
Oh my. FIRST OF ALL... I'm going to punch that doctor in the nose for being so... STUPID. It's entirely possible to be rational AND compassionate. I mean...the woman came in with s broken nose and left with cancer?! That's real stuff. Second, you keep living patients and treating them with care. People need that. And we need more of that in the world. You're doing great things, lady!!
ReplyDeletegood lord, girl. you are one strong cookie. and it's got to be the hardest thing to have to hold back emotions. but maybe it'll get "easier" with time? you know what i mean. not that you'll lose your sweet heart :) thanks for sharing your weekend - it's good sometimes for all of us on the outside of that to take a moment and reflect on how precious life is. and props to you for helping those that need it!
ReplyDeletexoxo cheshire kat
That is so heartbreaking for her - but how amazing that she took it the way she did!! You are a strong person and a wonderful human for doing what you do!! xo, biana -BlovedBoston
ReplyDeleteHoly crappers gurlie! I'm so sorry *hugs*, I can't imagine how rough that part of the job is. Hopefully the rest of your rotation will bring more good news and beautiful sunrises :)
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, you just wrote about my worst fear. Going in for one thing and then being told 'well there is this problem'. Thank you for being kind and caring about that women, I'm sure she was touched. That other doctor, well he's just a poop.
ReplyDeleteAww, what a hard situation. I would have totally cried too, I think a lot of times doctors can get very "clinical" but we're all human!!!! I'm sure she appreciated you being so kind :)
ReplyDeleteOh my..how very sad. You are such a strong person. As someone who has spent many many nights at the ER and at the hospital, I truly appreciate your dedication and kindness. I have encountered many at the hospital who were quite cold and indifferent. I know it's not easy dealing with elderly patients as they aren't always the nicest ones. Patience and kindness go along way. We need more people in the field like you.
ReplyDeleteThat just breaks my heart for that little old lady! (I truly don't know how you do it. I would break down in tears every. single. time.) Hoping you get some rest this week!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you had to go through that this weekend - that is very hard. Sounds like you couldn't have had a better patient for that though. Hope your week is better :)
ReplyDeleteThat is so sad what happened to your patient! It truly is heartbreaking, she goes in for one thing and leaves with worst news. I can't believe it, it is so sad.
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Wow. Her response; I mean, only someone with faith can have that type of humble gratitude. Hang in there, girl! Our ER was so packed Friday I sat on a gurney in the hallway while they worked on my lovely bug bite turned awfulness lol. I feel for you!!
ReplyDeleteHer response is such a testament to her faith. I'm so glad there are kind, compassionate people like you who work in medicine because I couldn't do it. I hope this week is a little brighter!
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You will be a blessing in this field. Having a dad die from cancer it was those nurses who were able to be compassionate but still get the job done that made such a difference.
ReplyDeleteI'm a medical assisant and I work at a heart failure clinic (unfortunate name I know), but we see some patients so often that they become a part of your work life instantly. We just found out a patient that we've been treating for some time now likely doesn't have long to live and it made me tear up and bog me down. I think you have to have compassion to be in this field and you sure have it!
ReplyDeleteWow, that is so sad! I can't imagine having to work in such a hectic, tragic environment! Props to you!
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Somehow, I never found cancer in the ER. It's definitely challenging and the ER physicians & PAs are a crazy bunch (at least where I worked) but it's a cool place to work. I miss it sometimes but I just couldn't do the hours... no thank you!
ReplyDeleteWow! Your day totally puts my 'crazy day' into perspective! What a gift you have, you were put there for times like this, medicine needs compassion and people relate to people. Keep on sister!
ReplyDeleteSo grateful for people like you in the field of medicine. If someone were to break such news to me I would hope they would care about me as a person and not just a diagnosis.
ReplyDeleteI love when people get serious on their blog about their passion. You will be, and are already, great because you care about your patients. You keep that heart, girl! That's what makes you AMAZING. xo, Champagne&Suburbs
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