Meghan from Champagne & Suburbs: Marriage guest series!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
I am SUPER excited to start my guest-post series today with my real life AND blogger friend, sweet Meghan over at Champagne and Suburbs! Her post is real and honest, which is why I love her! I texted her after reading and told her it made me tear up… it's not often that you read posts that are so relatable and honest. Thank you, Meghan, for spilling your heart out! You are a true gem!
I was honored and excited when Owen asked me to write a guest post regarding my marriage. But then I got a little nervous, because I wanted to be honest and let's be real, the truth can be scary to put on a public forum. So, here goes nothing!
When DG proposed to me, we had been together for about 2 years, which was exactly how long I wanted to be in a relationship with someone before committing to marriage. By the time we got married, we were together for about 3 and a half years. One of the reasons I felt confident in our marriage was the fact that we lived together for the majority of our relationship. I know that is something that is sometimes frowned upon, but I knew I had to live with someone before I could commit to marrying them. I mean, what if he just stood in front of the fridge with the door open trying to decide on what he is going to eat for too long? What if he was too sloppy or worse, too clean? (I'm a clutterer and a hoarder. The first plane ticket I ever had is still in my wallet with my first ticket to a Broadway show. I know...). So I needed to know if I could live with him before I committed, so I felt like we had that part under control.
One of the biggest parts of our first year of marriage has been the most controversial. My in-laws are not thrilled about our marriage. We haven't spoken to DG's father since he walked out of our wedding reception during dinner without saying good bye. His mother told me every single thing we did during our wedding weekend that upset her in a two hour conversation. His sister did not take a single picture of me at the wedding or reception. And y'all, it hurts. Still stings. And for long time, it was a source of anxiety for me. And I didn't know how to talk to DG about it. How do you tell someone that their family hurts your feelings daily? And that no matter what you do, you think about it a lot? Seems silly, right? But the good news is I actually do tell him this often because I cannot hide my feelings. He is understanding and supportive, but for a while we weren't sure how to move forward. We realized that cannot control their feelings and we realized that we have to make ourselves happy. It is important that we do that for our mental sanity individually but also as a couple.
If you do not know DG or me, our relationship could come across as... dysfunctional. But that's why it works. The one thing I have always needed is someone to put me in my place. I am strong-willed, opinionated, and loud, and DG will shut me down when I'm wrong. There are not many people who can do that, and that is one of the biggest reasons why I knew we would work. On the opposite side, DG needs to be checked too. We're both passionate and like being right, which makes for interesting conversations at times. However, it is what works for us, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Lastly, I figured that marriage would not be that different. We had been together for a while and were used to living together. However, marriage is way different in the best possible way. I can't really put my finger on and I can't quite explain it, but marriage has been wayyyy better than I expected. I want to go on record and say it is not easy to live with someone else and it is not easy to have to talk about your feelings and your needs, but in the end it is worth it to have someone listen to you and care.
So that's it. It's a quick snapshot of our first year of marriage. Stop by my blog and say hi sometime! And Owen, thanks for having me!